London Round Up Part 2

Ok, continuing on.....

Just wanted to give more info on a few other highlights we had on our tour of London. We saw Chicago at London's West End....its not bad, except me and Matt were so sleepy we fell asleep during some acts. Not a good sight considering we were in the first row, and the actors can probably see us sleeping, but at least we got to see one musical when we were there. Of course Chicago was our choice because it was the cheapest one (about 27 pund, still considered quite ex but was the cheapest there). And the reason why it was cheap was because Chicago has been playing in London for about 8 years now. Could have seen Billy Elliot which was very new but would have set us back by about 70 pound....decided to use that for something else. The theatre was quite shit though, seats were uncomfortable and stuffy and some were even broken....It was the Cambridge theater, one of the older ones there.

Fingers crossed, I've just had my photos transferred onto a CD, we should be able to get some photos onto the blog soon....

We also went onto the London Bridge, which is the most over rated bridge in the world...it was just a bridge and nothing else, looks drab and boring.

We also went to see the Crown jewels at London tower...and yes they were nice....we like shiny things and anything to do with queens....

Highlight of the London tour was the day trip to Stonehenge, Windaor Castle and Bath. Stonehenge was great, big blocks of stones right in the middle of a field, apparently built by the pagans for sun worshipping purposes....but no one knows, aliens could have built it!

Windsor Castle is just amazing, more beautiful than Buckingham in my opinion...We had a tour inside the castle and had a look at all the lavish rooms, just very very amazing....gave me a few ideas for our Mardi Gras decoration next year.....

Bath is a nice little town with a spectacular Roman bath built a long long time ago. Its no long in use now, but it gave us an idea of the origins of famous baths and saunas today like 357, Bodyline etc.....

Again running out of time....and Sharon, Keith and John, will ya all stop fighting? Its only being a week and you are all over each other already....

Word of advice to keep the peace.
Keith, keep drinking. Sharon, keep cleaning and John, keep quiet!

Ok see ya soon.



Fingers

London Round Up

Hi peoples who bother to read my blog....

We are now in Rome, our third day actually. Just taking a quick rest now at the internet station, having exhausted ourselves today visiting St Peter's Basilicia and the Sistine Chapel...will talk about Rome another day. I will now proceed to give a quick round up of the London leg of our world tour.

First of all, London is fucking expensive!!!!!
Second, it has the worst bus transport system in the world (ok, maybe second worst after Bangkok), imagine going from Taylor Square to Circular Quay, 1 hour...yes!!! I'm not kidding. Congested networks that traps people and vehicles, its a wonder why anyone would want to drive in the city. Before I get into the gist of it, I must tell you about the dramas Matt and myself experienced trying to get into London. Let's start with my first flight into Singapore from Sydney. I arrived at the counter too late and the flight was overbooked. At 4:15, I was still waiting at the checkin counter trying to get a seat on the flight. Luckily the check in chick (as opposed to check out chick) was very friendly and we chatted about shopping and HongKong and clubbing. She must have taken a shine to me (Whoaa hoo...lucky me!) and she not only turned away 2 other people who were waiting in line for tickets, she got me UPGRADED to BUSINESS CLASS too! So there I was in business class, being addressed as Mr Wong, shown my seat which incidentally can recline to 10 deg, asked for whether I want my dinner served after takeoff or 2 hours before arrival, offered a welcome French champagne (definitely tastes different from Yellowglen). Dinner was served on real plates and glasses on a set table, with choice of 6 wines, 4 starters, 3 mains, 3 desserts, cheese, more wine, port, liquer, 3 different cheeses and expensive fruits (strawberries, raspberries, blueberries) from a basket. Then of course, there was a choice of 6 different teas and expressoes or capuccinos or lattes to finish the meal off. You must think I am a happy chap eh? Not really, I think business class is overrated and overpriced! Its just so uncomfortable that you have to answer 10 different questions before you actually get to eat your meal.

"Sir, would you like mayo or balsamic dressing for your salad?"
"Sir, would you like Roqueforte, Double Brie or Camembert Cheese for your after meal dessert?"
"Sir, would you like to have your meal served with a glass of wine now or would you prefer it after?"
ARRGGGHHH!!! Just shut the fuck up and give me my food!!!!

Anyways, back to London, it was good, mainly because everyone spoke English...people are quite rude thou, they don't say sorry when they knock into you. But I got over that quite quickly, just be rude back!

We went to Brighton as well, seaside town totally different from London, very nice and relaxing place, loved it....

Went to Westminster Abbey for a service, to atone for my sins. Yeah, yeah, I know what you guys are thinking...what sins would a perfect man have to atone? I have my secrets ok, and they will stay in the confession room.

Went to heaven night club....not bad...very mixed crowd, huge venue, ARQ x 3 maybe....we got VIP entry because we printed some voucher from the internet...let's just say they are not very stringent with the people they let in, cos I saw some people there with looks only their mothers would love. I'm sure that they wouldn't even allow those people into Shift Bar....

ok my time is running out...will update further.....

Tutorial for Posting Comments

Hello Peoples,

I can't believe I am typing this tutorial for all you fans while I'm on my world tour of Europe. This is so I can bloody see who the hell are leaving me these comments. So far now, I've only identified the fat taunters and H&A fanatics. So please read this carefully and leave your bloody names when you decide to comment ok?

Step 1 : Read the blog and laugh.
Step 2 : Go to the end of the blog entry and click on "X comments", X being the number of comments that has been left there already.
Step 3 : Type in your comments, preferably no-personal attacking and full of praise.
Step 4 : Click to select "Other"
Step 5 : Type in your name.
Step 6 : Key in the word verification
Step 7 : Click on publish your comment.

Ok, next!!!!!

You say Goodbye, I say Hello......

FIRSTLY

THEN TO

THEN OFF TO ROCK THE BOAT

THEN SLOW DOWN TO SMELL THE TULIPS

THEN OFF TO

THEN BACK TO SEE ONE OF OUR RELATIVES

MATT GOES HERE

I GO THERE

AND HOME WE COME

Goodbye Folks, Seeya Soon!

Will try to blog while overseas...but no promises

A Royal Celebration

Location : Wollongongland
Population : 1012 (Nov 2006)
Event : The Queen's Birthday

Matt and myself have been very lucky to be invited to the Queen of Wollongongland's birthday 2 weekends back. For those of you not in the know, Wollongongland is a major coastal kingdom located south of Sydney with a thriving population of 1012. The people living in Wollongongland have a very adapted and relaxed lifestyle, as evidenced by the posh 4 hour seafood lunches they have on Fridays, financed by their company. The Kingdom of Wollongongland depends heavily on tourist dollars poured into the nearby Kiama Blo-whole, although their bowling clubs also contribute substantially to their GDP.

Hang on! The Queen is not five....

Wollongongland is governed by Queen Rhonda the First, who come into power early this year after acquiring years of training on governance of kingdoms (and power play of course) in Concorde West Palace. Originally hailing from Perth, Queen Rhonda grew up in a middle income family and led a peaceful and normal life, never expecting to be associated with any form of royalty.

That's better!!! Thank you, Hand with Blue Band...........Also in the picture is Princess Melissa, perfecting her "Get away from me, you frickin paparazzi!!" pose.

That was until she met Larrikin Prince Ray. Prince Ray first laid eyes on the beautiful Rhonda behind the bushes at her high school, which was where she would be sneaking in a cigarette between classes. Prince Ray was mesmerized by her beauty and her attitude she displayed between the puffs. He tried to approach her to say hi, but she was so frightened of being caught that she ran away. Prince Ray, however, was not one to give up so easily on a good catch and waited patiently for her to finish her classes. She eventually gave in and promised to go on a date with his, on the promise that he pays for everything. He agreed.

Sir Frank of Sutherland Shire with his daughter Lady Teresa sharing a photo (and some cake) with their 3rd cousin in law's wife, Queen Rhonda.

Prince Ray decided not to tell her of his royal bloodline, just so that she can get to know him better as a normal person rather than a dashing prince in shiny armour on his high horse. The first date went better than expected and the rest, as they say, is history. When Rhonda finally found out of his royal connection just before he proposed to her, she hesitated because she wasn't sure if she would be able to live up to the expectations of the Perth Royal family. Prince Ray assured her that for the sake of their future children, he will be leaving the royal family to build up a new Kingdom south of Sydney, and it will be the most beautiful kingdom on Earth. She will be the Queen and they will set their own rules. They will have 2 beautiful children, named Prince Nathan and Princess Melissa and most important of all, they will live happily ever after.

Peasant Matthew of Oxford Village and Peasant Martyn of Chinatown sharing a once in a lifetime photo with royalty (after intense security clearance).

Now that you've heard the tale only a fairy can come up with, back to the birthday. I must say that the birthday celebrations were spectacular, loads of food and booze, Priscilla music and ......

ELEPHANTS!

What else can I say? Moving right along?

Thanks to King Ray and Queen Rhonda for inviting us to this celebration of epic proportions...

OK, I've been slack!

I know I know, all you devoted Monday morning readers, I have been very slack in my blogging. Well, the computer has been fully occupied for our planning of the Europe trip, and hence I wasn't able to blog as often as I would have liked. Not to mention the zillion people who are having their birthdays in Oct/Nov, and being the popular media personality that I am, I've been invited to every single one of them. There's one more coming up this weekend, just got to make sure I remember to bring my passport along to this one down at Wollongongland. Oh...the trouble you go through to attend an ex-TV star's birthday. Yes, I know, we are still stuck with D-list stars now, but you'd never know when they might be asked to appear on those "celebrity" shows, propelling them into the B Stars stratosphere , so its best to keep them in our address books. For now......

Well, 2 weeks back, we were asked to organise a birthday gathering for a world renowned air hostass/choregrapher. I wish we had more photos, but because of copyright regulations put across to us by his agent, we were limited to 20 or less photos. Plus the other celebrities that were here requested us not to include them on this blog as they were concerned that we may be hounded the paparazzi and lose our privacy (which was exactly what we wanted! Why else would we hang around them that much....).

I was, as usual, in charge of the kitchen and making sure everyone was well fed while Matt had to make sure everyone remained elegantly tipsy (he's in charge of drinks).

I was so busy in the kitchen I didn't get time to take photos during the party, it was only during the cake call that I actually got out of the kitchen, hence my photos are from then onwards.

Here's Viv gettin ready to slam the cake into Nelson's face, but then we all realised the cake was more important and delicious than Nelson, so we didn't do it.

Nelson, being the shy little boy that he was, tried really hard to act all coy and virginal when we started singing him the birthday song. It failed terribly. Just like a leopard never changes its spots, a slut can never be a born again virgin.

And of course, ANYONE who knows Nelson well enough can predict what happened next.

NELSON + PARTY + AUDIENCE = DRAG SHOWS AND WIGS GALORE !!!???

Anita Dick pushing up daisies.

I present you the Stubble Lady from Cirque Du Perth.

"I wanna runnnn to youuu....oo....hhoooo......."

It then became a free for all, with wigs flying everywhere!!!

A poodle died for Georgia to achieve that look

Keith with his sister, Lil Miss Precious......

Strange pink albino lady

"You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman" Ben

Mork and Mindy !!!???!!!

Fresh from this week's NW magazine "Stars Without Makeup!!!"

and "Stars Without Veet!!!"

THE AFTERMATH.......

All good parties must come to an end. And in this case, it was Hurricane Katrina meets Asian Tsunami.

Kylie left her hotpants in my shower

Chicken massacre

Christina pulled Britney's hair out during the catfight. Now she knows who's toxic.....

Remnants of the 5 star bedroom after the bombing.

Thank God my shopping trolley is still intact in the corner.

I had to blog about this. Two of Nelson's friends bought along a bucket of minature champagne, and there was this strange contraption they attach that enables you to drink it straight from the bottle. It looked really classy on its own, but when you are drinking from it, it looks really strange, like you've stuck a large wedge of orange into the bottle (like a Corona) and it actually looks like they are sucking on the orange when they drank the champagne. There I was, slightly groggy in the kitchen trying to assemble my mushroom tartlets, and I looked up to see these 2 gorgeous girls sucking on an orange from a bottle!!!???? A bit different, a bit un-ewe-sual....

HOPE YOU HAD A GREAT BIRTHDAY, NELSON!!!