A Royal Celebration

Location : Wollongongland
Population : 1012 (Nov 2006)
Event : The Queen's Birthday

Matt and myself have been very lucky to be invited to the Queen of Wollongongland's birthday 2 weekends back. For those of you not in the know, Wollongongland is a major coastal kingdom located south of Sydney with a thriving population of 1012. The people living in Wollongongland have a very adapted and relaxed lifestyle, as evidenced by the posh 4 hour seafood lunches they have on Fridays, financed by their company. The Kingdom of Wollongongland depends heavily on tourist dollars poured into the nearby Kiama Blo-whole, although their bowling clubs also contribute substantially to their GDP.

Hang on! The Queen is not five....

Wollongongland is governed by Queen Rhonda the First, who come into power early this year after acquiring years of training on governance of kingdoms (and power play of course) in Concorde West Palace. Originally hailing from Perth, Queen Rhonda grew up in a middle income family and led a peaceful and normal life, never expecting to be associated with any form of royalty.

That's better!!! Thank you, Hand with Blue Band...........Also in the picture is Princess Melissa, perfecting her "Get away from me, you frickin paparazzi!!" pose.

That was until she met Larrikin Prince Ray. Prince Ray first laid eyes on the beautiful Rhonda behind the bushes at her high school, which was where she would be sneaking in a cigarette between classes. Prince Ray was mesmerized by her beauty and her attitude she displayed between the puffs. He tried to approach her to say hi, but she was so frightened of being caught that she ran away. Prince Ray, however, was not one to give up so easily on a good catch and waited patiently for her to finish her classes. She eventually gave in and promised to go on a date with his, on the promise that he pays for everything. He agreed.

Sir Frank of Sutherland Shire with his daughter Lady Teresa sharing a photo (and some cake) with their 3rd cousin in law's wife, Queen Rhonda.

Prince Ray decided not to tell her of his royal bloodline, just so that she can get to know him better as a normal person rather than a dashing prince in shiny armour on his high horse. The first date went better than expected and the rest, as they say, is history. When Rhonda finally found out of his royal connection just before he proposed to her, she hesitated because she wasn't sure if she would be able to live up to the expectations of the Perth Royal family. Prince Ray assured her that for the sake of their future children, he will be leaving the royal family to build up a new Kingdom south of Sydney, and it will be the most beautiful kingdom on Earth. She will be the Queen and they will set their own rules. They will have 2 beautiful children, named Prince Nathan and Princess Melissa and most important of all, they will live happily ever after.

Peasant Matthew of Oxford Village and Peasant Martyn of Chinatown sharing a once in a lifetime photo with royalty (after intense security clearance).

Now that you've heard the tale only a fairy can come up with, back to the birthday. I must say that the birthday celebrations were spectacular, loads of food and booze, Priscilla music and ......

ELEPHANTS!

What else can I say? Moving right along?

Thanks to King Ray and Queen Rhonda for inviting us to this celebration of epic proportions...