I Stand Corrected a.k.a Retribution

ok, ok, after my "controversial" (as one of my commentators put it) post last week, I found myself at the receiving end of what I thought was a good idea to just speak your mind.

I attended a conference yesterday in all of my well suited debonair looks. I was after all, in the midst of some very important people and thought that I should look the part. So out came my Japanese cut suit which only sees light of day for those very special occasions. With a splatter of hair gel on my head and a misty spray of Cool Water eau de cologne, I was so positively reeking of self confidence and charm I was sure I would set off the fire alarms the minute I walk into the conference hall. The morning session went well, the talks were good and I was networking my way to presidency.

Then came lunch and it was all downhill from there. It was a standing buffet lunch and the food was so so. What really mattered in that 1 hour was the number of people I could give out my name card to. Whilst eating at one of the standing tables with my boss, a young petite lady joined us at the table. Customary exchanges were made and I found out she was working for a major Japanese restaurant chain in Singapore. But when she started speaking, she sounded more like she worked for a slaughterhouse. In fact, it was my boss who started the chain of events leading to my loss of ego.

Boss : "I'm gonna have get some coffee, you want some tea Martyn?"

Me : "No, I'm ok?"

Boss : "Why? You always have tea in the office...."

Me : "Nah, not today. I'm wearing a suit and if I have anything hotter than my body temperature, I'm liable to break out in sweat!hahah!"

Slaughterhouse Lass : "Oh, why? I'm actually finding it quite cold here..."

Boss : " He is different, his body temperature is probably 10oC higher than an average person."

Slaughterhouse Lass : "Oh I know your kind. I have friends like that. And I think that's why he has so little hair on his head....And you seem to be having the same problem!"

"Problem...problem...problem...problem...." those words resonated at a thousand decibels in my mind.....I felt like all my 64 buttons on me were being pushed at the same time...

Me : " Well, I blame my parents for that!"(which of course you smart readers would understand I was referring to the hereditary nature of my thinning hairline)

Slaughterhouse lass : " Oh why! You shouldn't blame your parents. They gave birth to you!"

Boss : "......"

Slaughterhouse lass : "Hey, there's my friend! Cheng, come over here! What was that hair regrowth product you were using that was really good?

It was at this point that I felt my temperatures rising and the selective hearing walls closing up my ears.

This was all I got out of my next 15 minutes of conversation with her.

"and..of course.....you.....ok....he...good...bye.."

Good, my selective hearing ear walls are still in good working condition.

So, honesty may not necessarily be the best policy.....