So Embarrassment......

I've had an exceedingly overwhelming response to my new blog layout! 50% of you liked it so far, another 50% were split between having a bad day and not having much of a choice. Thank you to all four of you who voted and the remaining 70 million of you who were too shy to do it.

I am now on a serious PR drive to push up my readership. My campaign manager of choice is, of course, Mr Matthew Lyons, who will be coercing his world wide network of friends and acquaintances to check out my blog every single day. This will push up my stats and give me a false, but much needed, sense of security.

YOU! can play a part too! Tell your friends! Unite your sisters! Burn your bras! Make me the celebrity I truly deserve to be!

I thought the best way to do it would be to go against my morals and sign up with FaceBook. And guess what? My registered name of choice, GrandMaster Wong, got rejected by the automated system! Its just not meant to be, me and Facebook are like sworn enemies from our last lives.

Had to go to Malaysia for work today. Colleague drove about 2 hours to get to where we needed to go. Did I mention before I don't like Malaysia much? Its "village stuck in the 50s" mentality is a bit too much for me. Anyways, I was there for a rather (self) important meeting but I decided to dress down as my clients are "non-suits" who prefer a more casual, friendly type environment to discuss business in.

So there we were, just sitting in the board room talking about specifics of the project when I realised something that made me cringe!

My polo shirt was worn inside out!

You must know what happens when embarrassment takes over.

First, your voice drops 5 octaves.

Then, you start to minimise your hand movements so no one can see your exposed seams.

You try to act relaxed and sink lower and lower into your chair to stop people from noticing the intricate thread patterns of your shirt logo.

You are not sure whether to excuse yourself to go to the toilet.

All the nervousness makes you want to go to the toilet.

You start breaking out in sweat even though you are sitting in front of the air conditioner.

The final straw was when my female colleague was presenting to the client, made eye contact with me, saw my shirt, stopped mid sentence, and then continued with a wider smile than before.

I wish I could have melted into a pool of non-existence.

An excruciating half hour later, the meeting ended and I finally excused myself to go to the toilet and flipped my polo over and heaved a sigh of relief. Great, no more embarrassment.

As we said our goodbyes and shook hands with the 3 clients, I noticed every single one of them looking at my polo shirt logo.

It has switched sides.

P/S : Let me know via the chatbox on the left whether you guys want the comments tab back! And Mr G, no I didn't get the comment. Did you leave it in my new blog layout?

It's Finally Here!!!

Now all your prayers have been answered. The brand new GMW blog is live and running!!!

Well, granted its not perfect yet (banner size, can't choose my own playlist etc...), but it will be eventually!

Take your time to explore every pixel and let me know all your positive comments!

That's all for today, don't wanna overwhelm you guys......

Thank you Fairy God Cousin!

A brand new blog in exchange for a few curry puffs (I bribed her with them) is a good deal!

Fragility

Hello Mystery Blogger / Stalker / Hacker!

Well, well, well, what a pleasant surprise! A Happy Valentine's to you too, although I still insist that it is a rather stupid concept to have only one day to explicitly show your love for your other half. Me thinks it should be re branded as a novelty day and be celebrated only by those who are in love for the first time or are still trying to fall in love (desperately). But saying all that, it still feels nice, warm and fuzzy inside to know that you are wanted.

Almost a month and half with 2 hearts split over two lands and we have both learnt a little bit more about each other. And we thought we already knew everything there was to know. Admittedly, it is more difficult for mystery blogger to move to a totally new place and to build up social networks again from scratch. In my case, it was much easier as I was going to be surrounded by my family. However, that's not to say that I don't slump into mini depression mode once in a while. When you are apart, feelings, both good and bad are bound to be magnified. Small little things can set you off or make you delirious. All we can do is to try to make the best of cheap phone cards, web cams and daily SMSes to ease the physical and emotional distance.

And the scientific me is happy to report that for the last month, we have achieved 98% Happiness, 2% Minor Dissatisfaction. The 2% dissatisfaction score stemmed from housing infrastructure (1.2%) and work communication (0.8%) issues. However, both issues have been quickly resolved and we are striving to achieve a 100% next month.

Ok, this is a rare chance for you readers to see my philosophical side.

I think,

• Relationships can be so fragile.
• Time can be a two edged sword for relationships.
• Its a cliche to say this but its like a little seedling.
• When you provide the right amount of light, water and fertiliser, it keeps growing.
• Too much, you smother it,
• Too little, you deprive it.
• Every one's relationship is different
• There are no fixed rules.
• You set the rules.
• It takes 2 hands to produce a thunderous clap, although some prefer 3 or more.
• I've seen relationships build up and break down around us in the last 10 years.
• Some are still being built up, others are breaking down rapidly. That's life for ya, always changing, never static.

All I want to say in this very serious post is that I've found the missing jigsaw piece that completes the picture, and I am going to do my very best to stop this puzzle from falling into a million bits (with lots of help from the mystery blogger, of course).

Ok, for something completely different. I am now an official computer nerd. I just spent 3 hours of my weekend at a computer superstore and about $300 upgrading my computer. Now, it is much faster, has a wireless keyboard and mouse and a 640GB external hard drive!!!! I am in geek heaven!!! That's a good thing about Singapore, it allows me to step out of the technology closet, for a good price too! To make sure you guys reap the rewards as well, I will be hurrying my blog revamp by working on it today and hopefully by next week it will be all loaded up......

And by the way, I have been called many things but never "precious" (see comment on last blog entry), so I betta make sure I check. ("PPPRREECCIOUSSSS........" reminds me of Gollum in Lord of The Rings!)

pre⋅cious   /ˈprɛʃəs/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [presh-uhs]
–adjective 1. of high price or great value; very valuable or costly: precious metals.
2. highly esteemed for some spiritual, non material, or moral quality: precious memories.
3. dear; beloved: a precious child.
4. affectedly or excessively delicate, refined, or nice: precious manners.
5. flagrant; gross: a precious fool.
–noun 6. a dearly beloved person; darling.
–adverb 7. extremely; very: She wastes precious little time.

I'm insisting that only meanings 1, 3 and 6 are applicable to us.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE

(and hoped you did something meaningful for your relationship other than injecting your hard earned moolah into the flower, chocolate and restaurant industry)

Direct from SingaPerth / A Mystery/ New Beginning

I was sitting at work on Friday the 13th which is black Friday for some and I guess pink for others working away when Postman Pat arrived with a mysterious letter, not really taking much notice I thought about opening it but then my mind was thinking stalkers, development site workers and plain bad bois with a motive and thought what could it possibly be as I wasn't waiting on anything from customers and no one really knows my work address better still send me anything!
After deciding whether to open it or have security investigate the letter I then noticed something else, the stamps were alien too.
After careful consideration and contacting my dear friend Constable Charlie Buckton I decided to open the letter to see what the mystery was, what I found was a beautiful hand made,smudged letter which I must say touched my heart and brought me back in time where emotions are in the words and a time of when letters were the only communication.
After a few passwords fondling and codes breaking and being Feb 14, I didn't send any card or message due to red tape, but just want to say wishing you MARTYN a very HAPPY & SPECIAL VALENTINES DAY:) and know that even though I wake up in a empty house I know you are always with me.

See you next time for life in Perth and who knows maybe a tale of two countries or even a weekly review of Home & Away.

Your mystery Blogger

The disgusting blog!

DISCLAIMER :Ok for those of you with weak stomachs (especially those from Australia), please, please refrain from reading this blog entry.....

Now that you've got your smelling salts and strong mints with ya, let's begin.....

It was a typical Friday night. I went to the gym after work, had a bloody intensive workout (will post nude pics of myself very soon, say in about 12 years time), got really hungry and called mum to find out what she was doing for dinner.

Ok, digressing here, I must be one of those few sons left in the world that would call their mum to find out what they are doing on a Friday night. Yes, I do admit that I may not have a life (yet) outside of Sydney, but my mum is one of the few people that is not out in a bar on a Friday night, and as I am now in a extreme saving mode (I have to save 100K by the time I return to Australia for good), Mum seems like a pretty good choice for a Friday night out.

Anyways, yes, she was free, and we decided to go to one of our neighbourhoood eateries to have our dinner.

So mum ordered stirfried rice noodle and I ordered "Western Food", which was basically a half fried chicken, small portion of coleslaw and a small bowl of fried rice. How "Western" it was, I wasn't so sure, because I don't think people in Rome would actually be having something like that everyday...

So me and mum were happily eating our meals away when I felt something was wrong....I used the tip of my tongue to feel the top of my tooth and it felt chipped....

AND THEN I REMEMBERED!

THE FILLING FOR MY FRONT TOOTH WAS GONE!

"Why do you have a filling for your front tooth?" you ask.....

Well, 8 years ago, when I was a young, dumb and straight uni student, as I was coming home from a heavily intoxicated session from the university bar [where drinks were cheap, imagine $2.50 for a mug(schooner, geez fuck you all, now I have to provide translations for Australia and Singapore) of beer] and I was strongly encouraged by one of my gym buddies to do push ups as a dare while walking past the university gym.

Being the heterosexual butch (and intoxicated) male that I was, I took the challenge up. On my 18th push up, I was panting and had my mouth open and my teeth jutting out.

The front row of my beautifully aligned tooth hit the ground with a heavy thud....

0.8 cm of the right front tooth flew across my eyes and landed itself about 6 cm in front of my face.

I did not remember seeing it, but I certainly felt it.

But alcohol was my morphine that night, and because of that, I did not scream out in pain.

The next morning, I woke up with a massive headache, and it wasn't because of the intoxication.

I looked at the mirror and I almost fainted.

I did not brush my teeth that morning.

Ok, now, lets get back to reality. I had my tooth filled at a Singapore dental clinic when I came back. That cost me $158. It lasted me for 8 years, so its not too bad. About $20 per year.

The scary thing was that when I felt that my filling was gone, I tried looking for it in my food. Nope, couldn't find it. I tried searching the insides of my mouth/cavity and it wasn't there as well.....

So there was only one place the filling could have ended.
In my tummy.

I was getting worried. Headlines for the Straits Times (Singapore daily) ; "Exceedingly Handsome Man dies from swallowing his right front tooth filling, fillings from China now banned!"

Then I remembered reading somewhere that even if you swallowed razor blades, the stomach acids are strong enough to break it down....so I'm saved...for now.....

2nd disgusting thing to share.

Singapore has always been a country that goes for trends and fads. It is so Americanised you wouldn't believe it. Starbucks, Ben and Jerry, Wendy's, Swensens, Burger King, Sizziler (spell check please...) are all mainstays of youth culture.

But I have to stop at this. Tell me what you think the picture below is about.

Ladies and gentlemen....prepare yourself for fish spa. This is what Wikipedia says....

"This article is about the freshwater fish used for treatment of skin diseases, notably in Kangal district, Turkey. For the species sometimes called doctor fish in the UK.

Doctor fish is the name given to two species of fish: Garra rufa and Cyprinion macrostomus. Other nicknames include nibble fish, kangal fish,little dermatologists and doctorfishen; in non-medical contexts, Garra rufa is called the reddish log sucker. They live and breed in the outdoor pools of some Turkish spas, where they feed on the skin of patients with psoriasis. The fish are like combfishes in that they only consume the affected and dead areas of the skin, leaving the healthy skin to grow, with the outdoor location of the treatment bringing beneficial effects. The spas are not meant as a treatment option, only as a temporary cure for symptoms, and patients usually revisit the spas every few months. Some patients have experienced complete cure of psoriasis after repeated treatments, but due to the unpredictable nature of the disease, which is strongly influenced by endogenous factors, this may simply be regression towards the mean.
Garra rufa occurs in the river basins of the Northern and Central Middle East, mainly in Turkey, Syria, Iraq and Iran. It is legally protected from commercial exploitation in Turkey due to concerns of overharvesting for export. Garra rufa can be kept in an aquarium at home; while not strictly a "beginner's fish", it is quite hardy. For treatment of skin diseases, aquarium specimens are not well suited as the skin-feeding behavior fully manifests only under conditions where the food supply is somewhat scarce and unpredictable.
In 2006, doctor fish spa resorts opened in Hakone, Japan, and in Umag, Croatia, where the fish are used to clean the bathers at the spa. There are also spas in resorts in China, such as Hainan, Belgium, The Netherlands, South Korea, Singapore, Slovakia Surat(INDIA) and Malaysia. In 2008, the first widely known doctor fish pedicure service was opened in the United States by John Ho in Alexandria, Virginia and later in Woodbridge, Virginia, and has trademarked the treatment name of 'Dr. Fish'. [1]. The first Skin Therapy clinic using Garra rufa fish in Ireland (Limerick) was opened in 2008. These little dermatologists are used there to give relief to people with various Skin Disorders, including Eczema, Psoriasis and Dermatitis."

Now watch the video....

Ok I think this blog entry needs to be terminated.....

See ya all soon....

And yes, we all speak like that back in Singapore.....