Bob The Builder!

CAN WE FIX IT?

About two years ago, Sydney was flooded with home and lifstyle shows telling us how easy it is to renovate your house or build some bits of furniture up from scratch. Although the trend has now moved on (or should I say regressed) to trashy reality TV programs exploiting fat people, current affairs programs exploiting young cannibal victims and ex-Big Brother inmates exploiting themselves, I've decided to bring us back to the good old days where people actually have to draw water from wells, wash their clothes by the river, start thir own fires and build their own furniture.

Or at least put them together.


Now, I went online and bought myself this really nice TV stand. I know going online is not really in line with my stone age theme but because I don't have a trained dinosaur to pull my chariot (i.e. car) to the shops, that will have to do for now. As usual, websites will say "We deliver our goods flatpacked, so we can pass the savings to you!" That's just really a nice way of saying "We are too fucking lazy to assemble this piece of crap cheap furniture for you, so there you go!" So this was what I got.......

Because I am quite the organisational freak, I took out each and every piece of chip board and arranged them according to their size and thickness!!! This behaviour is a result of the brainwashing carried out during my army years. I know I have gone too far when I try to arrange my salads instead of tossing them, but believe me, I am slowly trying to de-program myself.

Now anyone who's ever bought furniture from IKEA will understand the frustration of trying to decipher the instructions sheet for furniture assembly. It is only slightly more confusing than all the maps found on LOST combined. Not forgetting the fact that you are very likely to find one screw/nut/bolt missing at the most crucial part of the assembly. I am hoping that won't happen to me for this project. And yes, I found the roller rails of the drawers to be a very comfortable head scratcher.

I started putting the stand together in the very cramped premises of my unit, under very poor lighting and distracting TV programs. Notice the pained expression on my face, now that is suffering for ya.....

2 hours and 647 swear words later, I finally did it! I have assembled 1 drawer. Now only one more drawer and the main body to go! If I extrapolate (whoa, big word), I should get this whole thing done in 5 days and 6428 swear words time.

Yeah! Here it is! Its beautiful! Except one of the drawers don't work, the rails got stuck. I probably bent it from using it to scratch my head. I've got a very hard head, you know.......

SO CAN WE FIX IT?

YES, WE CAN ! FOR ONLY $89.50 !!!